Power Struggle 1:
For too many years I have allowed fear to control my actions – mostly fear of the reaction my husband will have regarding decisions I make about my self or my home. It never mattered if the decision was about which style to cut my hair, flats or heels, fragranced or non-fragranced laundry detergent – it didn’t matter. My concern was, “Will my husband disagree?” Power Struggle 2:
A huge issue between us over the past nine years has been the horrendous state of my kitchen. The appliances don’t work (probably a loose wire some place simple), the ugly blue paint is peeling, cabinet doors are falling apart, and the floors are worse yet. Power Struggle 3:
Add to this, I have two teenagers; one who is mixed up with a less-than desirable crowd, and the other is a recent self-proclaimed atheist (we have “dragged” them to church since birth).
Maybe you have fought with similar demons, and maybe yours have been worse. What I have learned recently, after an eye-opening self-realization, is that when we allow others to dominate and control what we do, what decisions we make, even what we speak out loud, we are giving away our power! My own wake-up call took place recently when after promising me he would remodel the kitchen once the rest of the house had been remodeled, he skipped right past the kitchen to the back yard. I was livid and hurt. I felt that I didn’t matter and that nothing I would say would change his mind.
I soon thereafter noticed myself feeling angry, bitter, resentful, and I noticed the absence of laughter spilling from my lips. From there, I noticed the appearance of our front yard begin to deteriorate. (Stay with me here – I have a point.) The kitchen was beginning to show signs of insect infestation, and no matter what I did, they seemed to keep finding their way back into the kitchen. Light fixtures began to stop working. Electrical sockets also gave up their worth. Until….
A few weeks ago, I was walking around the house picking up one thing after another, and I stopped in my tracks. “Why am I doing this? I have three other adults who live in this house, and I AM their housekeeper?” It was a sudden and eye-opening moment. I decided right then that I was not meant to be taken advantage of in this way. Then a soft, still voice told me that I was not being abused by my family. I had given them my power – freely. Well, I made the solemn vow to myself that I would reclaim myself, my decisions, and my home. Walking around feeling sad and angry was not going to get the job done.
I rolled up my shirt sleeves (figuratively speaking), and scrubbed my ~ MY ~ kitchen from top to bottom. I guess I was trying to scrub away the bad feelings associated with the ugliness, but I realized I was prepping it for a much needed makeover. No longer was I worried about what my husband would say. He might get mad. I didn’t care. I was already angry enough for the both of us, so nothing he could do or say would make things worse for me.
I went online and found the exact product I needed to keep those little invaders outside where they belonged. I also dragged my husband to the local Home Depot and had him pick out paint colors and flooring with me. When he asked me what the paint was for, I told him it was for the kitchen. I was bold and deliberate. He did not argue. He was equally quiet when I walked him over to the flooring department. With authority, I showed him which floors I would be placing in MY kitchen. Again, silence. There was no anger on his face; only a bewildered look. I don’t think he was expecting the assertive tone I was giving him.
The above scenario was something I could take control of on my own power, however, the kids were a different story. If you have kids, you are well aware that you can talk until you’re blue in the face, but they will ultimately make up their own minds. I put the intense thought out to God/Universe that I was reclaiming my children. As a mother, I had that right, and I knew it.
Within literally days, my son had a talk with me about religion. He asked why I was religious. I explained that I was not religious – I was spiritual, and I explained the difference. I explained my belief that God is pure love, and since he had a strong and undeniable capacity for love, that it didn’t matter what he believed, a part of God lived in him. I was happy that he was at least questioning his own beliefs. It was a good start. He later thanked me for being so open with him and not judging him for his questions.
As for my daughter, just one day later she was out with two of her friends, sitting at the park and socializing. One of the boys was indulging in a late-afternoon “joint,” when one of the local Constables happened by and questioned what they were doing. My daughter was upset at the officer when her friend was arrested. I had to explain that it was not the officer’s fault that her friend was arrested. He was engaged in illegal activity for this state, and he was treated appropriately. The officer told my daughter it was her “lucky day,” and ordered her to go home and “get better friends.”
The point is, when you start feeling hopeless, walked on, and generally depressed take a look at yourself and ask yourself if you are allowing the events around you to happen. If you answer yes, it’s time to take inventory and take back your power. If you are having trouble pinpointing exactly what issues are gnawing at you or if there are several problems, consider using the charts in "Dowse This... Take Back Your Power; Clear Your Negative Imprints", a booklet designed to help you discover what is plaguing you and how you can identify and clear the negative imprints that have created your current condition. It might not happen right away like mine did, unless you take immediate action through your own actions and fierce emotional prayer. However long it may or may not take, it is worth it in the end to feel whole and in control of your own life. Article submission by Lori Nelson; www.LoneStarMedium.com
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